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Today is the Day

Today is almost always the best time to make a desired transformation in our life, but let’s talk about why today is uniquely and especially important to start that transformation.

  1. Avoid being part of the mass cliché and their 8% success rate.  Every year millions of people, 40% of all Americans, start off January 1st with their intentions of change, their New Year’s Resolutions.  Last year I wrote a post entitled “The January Gym”, where I reflect on a time I joined a gym in January and it was packed full of people, I almost always had to wait in line for a workout machine.  The staff ensured me though, “don’t worry, come the 2nd week of February we will be back to normal; and they were right, the mass cliché’s had made their 92% predictable mass exodus from their New Year’s Resolutions and I never waited for a machine the rest of the year.  I’ve never liked being cliché, so why not avoid being part of this one.
  2. Did I mention an 8% Success Rate.  According to a recent study only 8% of New Year’s Resolutions are considered successful by those who set them, 8%!  If I was selling investments and I came to you and said, “Here it is, you should invest in this, let me tell you how great this is. There is a 92% chance you will lose money, but an 8% chance you will make money, what do you say? Sounds great doesn’t it?” No, it sounds horrible, why not be pushing penny stocks and junk bonds.  

So, here is where we are then with New Year’s Resolutions:

  • Popular & Cliché? Yes, 40% of all Americans set them.
  • Historically Effective? No, 8% success rate, a mere 92% miss in achieving the desired change and transformation we aspire for in our life.

Here are some tips I gave in last year’s post to support setting a vision for our desired way of living and successfully beginning new practices of living:

Deepening & Strengthening Life Change

The important point here is that we must be deepen and strengthen the change we want to make and see in our life. We can’t just say I want to lose weight, eat healthier, and exercise more. We have to take the time to sit quietly with our newly desired way of life and visualize what our daily life looks like when we are living in this way. We have to break that down into very specific activities that we will do and then eventually they will become part of who we are.  We must create a vision, but then ask, Who must I become, how must I live, to live this vision?

Reasonable & Attainable

A common mistake is making goals that are not reasonable or attainable. A friend of mine was 60lbs over his goal weight, so he made a plan to lose 20lbs a month for 3 months. The first month he only lost 12lbs. Frustrated he had worked so hard and missed his goal, he quit his exercise and diet plan all together. Despite the fact that he was able to break it down and plan for its success, the time he set for himself was unreasonable which lead to the entire goal being tossed out.

Release the Guilt

As a culture we seem to have embraced this common underlying belief that guilt is productive, specifically that guilt can motivate us to do better next time. This typically though is not the case. Guilt is a negative, devaluing emotion, so it often does the exact opposite of motivating us. Guilt make us feel bad, so as a form of protection from it we quit setting our self up for this negative emotion by no longer pursuing challenging areas of self betterment.

Nothing Missed, Nothing Lost

We believe once we have missed a goal, or had a misstep in our new desired way of being, that we have failed in some way, screwed up, or messed up. Everyone’s journey is uniquely their own and no one else’s, but the one thing I can almost always guarantee is that your journey to the life you want will not be a perfect straight line, nor in my learning’s is it supposed to be. There are many stops along the way that are meant to challenge us and have us learn valuable self lessons. It is not about right and wrong, it is about honoring your unique path; there is nothing that was missed should you step off your path and there is nothing that is lost should you find yourself needing to refocus and start again. 

Reason vs. Force

The attitude that we bring to our lives and our loved one’s matter. Most all of us have learned that if we are demanding & forceful with our significant other, rarely do we truly get what we want, on the other-hand if we instead come from a place of love and respect our desired way of living will often naturally take form. I invite you to consider that the attitude we bring to our goals and resolutions matter just the same. A typical common mistake is to approach our goals and resolutions with FORCE – “I WILL Lose this Weight.” When we use this force we often push things further away rather then drawing them closer. Coming from a place of reason vs. force is often a key to moving closer to the life you want. The reason I want to lose weight is a.b,c , it makes sense for me to make this commitment because of x,y,z.

Have Support

Consider a support person or people.  Consider a coach: a life coach, a health & nutrition coach, a creative coach, etc. ~ an experienced individual to hold the space for you to create that clear vivid vision for the life you wish to live and then positively challenge you to actually step into the practice of living it.  At the end of every day and every aspiration for living it is up to you, that said, having the guidance & support of a coach can assist you towards experiencing the positive life change and transformation you aspire for.

All the best to you in beginning to step into your life change today, December 10th!

Joel Davis, P.C.
www.TheCoachingCabin.com
317-258-4002

The Art & Necessity of Being Overly Ambitious

Scorpion Venom illuminates cancer cells.

That was Dr. Olson’s belief, and with cancer cells illuminated this would greatly assist surgeons in a more accurate removal of cancer during surgery; now, he just needed the funding to prove this through lab research.

"This is overly ambitious"

That was the phrase Dr. Jim Olson heard time and again when he sought funding for his research from the traditional grants and funding sources. His response to their denial was he believed cancer, and specifically his patients, required and deserved “overly ambitious” work, but the funding source did not agree and held fast to their denial.

With traditional funding sources closed to his idea he went to his patients. His patients made and sold greeting cards, held golf tournaments, & did chili cook-offs to raise money to support his research; all told $8 million of grass-roots fundraising.

With this funding Dr. Olson went into his lab and started his research. He was correct, in test after test The Scorpion Venom, with a slight molecular modification, appears to safely light up the cancer cells.

And now investors and traditional funding sources are interested, they’re very interested. Two Biotech companies have been founded with the purpose of making this an actual FDA approved product that surgeons will be able to use to target cancer cells. They call it tumor paint.

At the current time in Dr. Olson’s area of specialty, the brain, surgeons often find themselves having to take an entire area of the brain to be cautious, because they just don’t know if it is cancerous or not. In the future, with the hopeful use of Dr. Olson’s new tumor paint, they will only need to take what is absolutely cancerous. This increased targeted accuracy can be the difference between someone being able to see, walk, or talk post operatively; it is truly monumental for the quality of life of brain cancer patients post surgery. Human trials for tumor paint are slated to begin later this year.

There are times in our life we will be called to be “overly ambitious” by the traditional standards of society or others. The art and necessity is:

  1. Recognizing these moments
  2. Being greater then the traditional & fear based thought system (ours and others)
  3. Being creative & resourceful ~ aligning with the people and resources that share our vision and belief.

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the conditions that surround him. The unreasonable man adapts surrounding conditions to himself. All progress therefore depends on the unreasonable man." ~ George Bernard Shaw

Yes, it is a necessity for progress in our life, and in our society, that we push that “business as usual” envelope, that we are courageous enough to be labeled unreasonable and overly ambitious.

There is an art to this that can be honed and practiced just as any other art form ~ I encourage and honor your practice in the wonderfully rewarding art of being “overly ambitious.”

All The Best,

Joel Davis, P.C.
www.TheCoachingCabin.com
317-258-4002

Stabilizing Our Life Structures ~ Then We May Best Serve Others

Clients often remark something of these sorts early in our coaching relationship:

"This all seems really selfish"
"How so?" I inquire
"Well, this all seems to be about me"

And it is, but isn’t all at the same time.  This coaching conversation always leads us to a very particular and important realization:

When we are at our best, this is when we may serve others best

Therefore, stabilizing our own life structures in a way that honors our unique vision of success and happiness, so that we THEN we may be of best service to our families, friends, organizations, society, etc.   This becomes a knowing of ours, turning the perception of this personal work not into selfish work, but work that prepares and allows us to live and give at our highest level.

When it comes to our role as a parent (if this is one you play) when we are worn out, tired, and running on empty we are rarely the parent we aspire and wish to be.

As for career, when we are overworked, overwhelmed, and feel under appreciated and under paid rarely do we feel we bring or have brought our best.

Therefore, we make the stabilization of our structures a top priority, before we take on any and all additional work, commitments, and/or requests of what others want or may expect of us.

One way to begin is by checking-in ~ taking reflection and introspection on where we are in regards to our individual personal satisfaction in areas of our life, such as:

  • Family Life
  • Career
  • Financial Health
  • Personal Time (self-expression, hobbies, interests ~ things that re-charge us)
  • Spiritual Life
  • Friendships/Social
  • Metal Outlook (attitudes, thoughts, Are we engaged and present in life?)
  • Physical Health (dis-ease within our bodies, our nutrition, exercise)

We identify where there are large gaps, or things missing entirely for us for us, this “For Us” is a key point, this inward pointed inquiry is not focused on what others want from us in these area, but where we see/notice/want personal fulfillment & satisfaction.  We invite and allow things to emerge from within us telling us there is an area of neglect that from a deep level is looking/wanting to be noticed and tended to.

This isn’t about being “perfect” in any of these areas, it is about noticing:  Is their stability here?  Am I on a path that is moving me closer to what I believe it is I want in this area of life?  Or am I really distant from even knowing what I want, but I know where I am today isn’t it?  What is it I need to “let go of “ if I want to live my vision?  With this particular question we invite our self to embrace the reality that most deep sustaining personal growth and development takes place as and when we are letting go of something that has been limiting our view and/or our true potential.

Going within to answer these types of questions is an imperative early step towards stabilizing our structures, because we must start from where we are; honestly recognizing and owning exactly where we are, just as fact, no shame or blame; It is from this place we begin to do our personal work, stabilizing our life structures, not coming away from this work with beliefs, but rather ways of living.

It is THEN we often begin to notice our self showing up at increasingly higher levels in our life and experiencing an ease to life that may have previously not been our experience.  Boundaries will often set themselves once we know what we want life to look like and things begin to unfold organically and naturally where we may notice previously we used such force. 

There is a shift that can be made in a popular saying, which I truly appreciate:

“Where there is a will, there is a wall.”

This is not about willing and forcing things, but what it is about is:

  1. Gaining clarity around a vision for our life
  2. Intentional living that creates and notices alignment in life that serves our vision

Once we embrace and accept this, we again and again come back to the realization that this personal work is not selfish, yet quite the contrary, we know and accept on a intuitive level that:

When we are at our best, this is when we may serve others best

So next time you find yourself noticing and aware of those thoughts of, “I don’t have time to take care of me” remember that this fundamental life structure attention and self-care is not selfish, rather it is often the best gift you can give to those who depend upon you.

Aware! There Are Magician’s Among Us

Magicians work primarily by distracting you; they create a distraction to pull your attention away from reality, and then your eyes believe an illusion that they have created.

We as individuals have an inner knowing, we have an authentic self that we are able to check in with which will guide us to our own unique path, truth, and harmonious way of being.

But there are people and organizations that will distract us from this innate knowing and our following of it. They will tell us what we know is true for us is not true, they will attempt to sway us to live one way or another, even though we may have that gut feeling or knowing that the way they offer is not right for us.

Organizations may attempt to distract you with Money and Titles and we may find our self-saying “Well, I really don’t enjoy doing xyz, but for that amount of money & those benefits I will give half my waking life during any given week doing xyz.”

The Money and Prestigious Titles are nothing more then a distraction.

The Illusion is that we will be able to garner and hold onto a sustainable happiness and fulfillment from this money or prestige, even though we are living out of alignment with our true gifts and talents or our natural calling.

As with any illusion, reality always wins out, the girl steps out of the box and she has never really been cut in half. But how many of us are out there holding on to those illusions, “I know I am not happy now, but if I only get a promotion or raise then I will be happy.” It’s like saying if the magician cuts her in half 2 more time then it will be real…it’s still not real, no matter how excessively the illusion is played out.

We are challenged to be aware of the many magicians our paths will cross ~ they will attempt to distract us from our true reality ~ what they offer is merely an illusion and will never lead us to our individual unique happiness or fulfillment.

(This Blog Post is kindly accompanied & supported by an awesome original work of art ~ Thank you Troy for sharing your amazing gifts and talents with The Cabin Community.)

All The Best,

Joel Davis, P.C.